Wat happened in June

So many things happened in June..

I find myself wanting to write it down.. but with all the things that happened, blogging became a dream..

I refuse to think about the bad things that have happened to me in this month. The past is the past.. and I refuse to remember those who played such insignificant roles in my life. However, I do thank those people for the lessons in life.. and for giving me the fire to shut u down in the future.. Revenge is sweet, you know?

Good news:

Alhamdulillah, I got the scholarship from KPT. Now I can go overseas and further my studies. With that great news, I found myself bombarded with forms to complete and to hand back to KPT as well as ANU. I found myself booking my plane ticket from Malaysia.. and booking a plane ticket only for the parents from Canberra.. I found myself mentally preparing my parents for days that I wont be here to help them with the internet or phone problem, or helping them with the TV, or with sending them off to work.. I found myself growing up and at the same time feeling scared.. Scared of the unknown future.. I have a habit of being scared of things that I cant picture in my head or control..

I found myself slowly buying clothes to wear as a student.. I found myself losing weight and remembering with the hectic schedule I dont eat regularly or well. I also found myself booking a room at the Uni that has a shared bathroom. U know, matriks style.. It so happens to be a college where there are boys and girls.. not like here. nothing like here.. i guess u understand now y i'm a bit scared..

I found myself looking at the calender and realizing that 2 months isnt that far away...

10 SEPTEMBER 2010 @ 10.10pm

That's the date..
Its hari raya..First day of eid..
And I choose to leave.. Jihad menuntut ilmu..
Its not easy..So I hope you give me the support I need..
so I can come back safe and successful in 2013.

Overwhelmed..

Really am overwhelm.. with work.. wat else.. work work work..

Been sleeping late around 2-3am these past couple of days. I really need good coffee.. trying very hard to resist starbucks..

Sleep deprived me has no energy to finish Darwin's paper.. which shall b presented tomorrow in front of the goody two shoes...

sobs.. hating the department i work in... not liking how the system works.. know that i'll be there for eternity...

oh.. brave my heart ya Allah.. for sure i need ur strength now..

note to self: learn to keep ur mouth shut.. sometimes not saying is much much better... more harmless and less likely to kill any cats...

What happened in May...

To be honest, a lot of things happened in May..

bcoz of my hectic time table these days.. i just cudnt find the energy to write in my blog.. to jot down the memories..

owh my.. all i remember was early this month, my friend hapiz got married.. that was on the 1st of may.. now its the 31st.. i wanted to pack baskin robbins today.. but wasnt in the mood.. i passed up baskin thrice this week.. hence, i am declaring myself entering a critical period.. i no longer have the mood for korean or for ice cream.. huhuhu...warning bells, if you please.

to Psyche: last week was brutal.. hope this week choc session is still on.. u never know wat kind of program just springs in between now and the future.. and boy oh boy.. the stories i have will fill ur ears smp u muak agaknya.. huhu... update me plz on our escapade status..

hugs xoxoxo

Drama Melayu

Nowadays orang ramai sibuk mengatakan tentang drama slot akasia... oo mmg best cite.. awal2 jela... i like jugak.. coz its romantic and sweet.. love after marriage... but typical malay drama... there will be plots where either the main characters have affairs, hasad dengki berlaku dgn nyatanya dan macam2 lagi... so what messages are these producers trying to tell people? That part I dont get... Y must u create crazy plots just to tell people a simple message of love and loyalty...

That's y although hero dia handsome mana pun, and babe dia cun mana pun.. I stopped watching the show.. The thing is I prefer to watch dramas that are light and have a happy storyline.. fun to watch... Its bad enough u hear stories about the big bad world.. People are getting scarier by day... And U meet with patients that have their own sad tale... So, when u watch dramas that have all the negative storylines... i just become so bored with em...

Again.. I feel the my Korean fever is coming back.. bahagia jiwa ku... kelakar pun ye...

p/s: sesungguhnya saya stress bila mengenangkn this week alone I have to finish 4 reports.. and next week i'll be seeing 2 new cases... sum that up and i'll have 6 reports to write... yippie!! :(

owh jantungku..

Nearly had a minor heart attack...

Akhirnya, the acknowledgment email from ANU has safely arrived in my inbox.. dug dap dug dap.. baru acknowledgment... blum acceptance lagi.. jadi saya dan ahli keluarga dan harapnya rakan2 masih terus berdoa...

oo... tarikh email dari ANU tu 2 Mac 2010.. maknanya agentku buat balut jambu dulu email tu br nk forward kt saya... bagus2... xpela.. as long as I now have evidence that my application is being process...

lets continue praying...insyaAllah I will get the chance to go there by the end of this year...

Eh... saya bosan tahu?

Minggu ni saya buat clinic 2 hari memandangkan minggu lepas saya cancel kerana demam... so bila ganti tu maknanya double the dose of patients laa...

kesimpulannya report pun double!!! bab2 tulis report ni memang lemah lutut dibuatnya... Can you imagine doing this for the rest of ur professional life??? waa... long way to go... xpe2.. nnt klu dh ada doctorate.. akan ku kerjakan trainees utk buat assmnt.. sure diorg nyumpah like how i was when i was a trainee.. muhahaha... ish2 x baik...

entri kali ini tidak ada point mahupun value.. i'm just dead bored! Kira after 16 days of umrah, 1 week of sick leave, 3 days of going to kelantan and 2 days of clinic, this is my first day to sit from morning till evening at the office.. aduiyaaa.... then i am fidgeting like an ADHD kid already! In search for candy tp tgh diet kn... haa... mana nk cari gula?

supposed to have a meeting today but got canceled.. xpe2.. suka2 :) but then does it mean I have to go to that workshop? Abaikn je la... buat pekak shj...

Savor the moment is out..unfortunately secara digital not yet.. so need more patience...

I need CBT btw.. cause i'm having these negative images about how terrible the toilets and sleeping arrangement would be at balik pulau..oh no...i'm turning into an OCD wannabe... huhuhu... plz... i dont care about the content of the module but more to the cleanliness of the facilities there! eeee.... tolong... 5 days and 4 nights seems like years...

yapping yapping yapping...

i miss my friends laa.. kt opis ni xda rakan sebaya tahu... i am alone.. my work frens are older..like 10 years gap gitu... so it means.. i have to act older... and its killing me... haha... saya masih muda di hati... oleh itu, saya x sabar nk jumpa rakan2 sekolah saya hjg minggu ini... wlpn saya tahu pasti saya akan mentally kill one of them... u always have that type of friend yg suka ckp laser... bak kata org tua2 ... mulut dia xda pilotnya... hahaha... we will see the fireworks i guess... saya nk jadi baik.. so i have to have a clean heart... x makan hati la kawan2 buat jahat pun... buatla buatla... org teraniaya slalu dpt pembelaan...

ape lg ni... kakak... jgnla ketuk2 pintu saya... trsangkut2 saya nk tulis blog ni...

eh, r u bored yet? I am... told u it was a boring entry... sape suh baca kn.. ;)

luv ya to bits...

I am anxiously waiting...

In the morning I wish time would slow down,
In the afternoon I laze around and wish that time would just fly by,
At night I toss and turn anxiously around,
Waiting for you to just come and be close by,
if not physically, digitally then

Ooo... saya x sabar mahu baca buku ini... which will be released in the US on 27th April... oo cepat la.. itchy betul mahu membaca sambungan kisah cinta 4 sahabat..

To u dear mama LA, i recommend u read this series.. its heart-warming and has zero-complicated plots.. haha.. not ur average cup of tea, i understand.. by my oh-so-over-romantic-heart strongly suggest you read this :)