hummph...

I went to pick up my IELTS result today at British Council.. Hmmph...

Terrible traffic jam just to go into KL..celebration of new year i guess...hmmpph...
Bummer..hate being stuck in the car that long.. just hearing the cars honking and seeing people drive crazily...hmmmp...

Arrived at Britich Council safely..There was a very long que..hmmpph... Patiently waited in line until it was my turn..

Ahh finally! It was my turn. Gave my IC and waited patiently again. However, the girl working there told me that my result was nowhere to be found...hmmmph... "wat???!!!" I say in my head...

She said that prob. IMEC (that's the place, like cawangan of british council, where I registered) has it, that they mailed/sent it to them ysterday...hmmmph...

Just to double check, I called IMEC...and the conversation is as follow:

R: Hi! I would like to ask bout my IELTS result.
IMEC: What IELTS result? for the examination on the 19th December is it?
R: Yes yes..that one..
IMEC: It will be out in middle of january

In my head: WATT???? Its already out la weh!

R: COme again? I was told it wud be out on the 31st. And I have checked my result online and am now at the british council... they told me that you have the results now.
IMEC: No no no.. results will be out after 13 working days. Let me count for you, I grab calender now. 1,2,3......aah..You will know ur result on 12th january...
R: I think you misunderstood me. Its already out.. I saw it online. British council is giving results aways today.
IMEC: which link or site did you go to check your result? no such thing!

(By now, kalau cartoon my kepala dah berasap oceh!)

R: Look, i'll let u speak to one of the girls here....

and their conversation takes place....

R: SO, when can i pick up my result?
IMEC: Next year..
R: Very clever...when exactly?
Imec: Owh.. the two person in charge are on holiday. its the last day of the year you see...

(In my head: owh really???? I didnt know that...duuuh!)

R: really? nobody in charge around?
Imec: Nope. How bout you call us next week?
R: I'm tired of calling you. How bout u call me this monday?! Take my name and number..
Imec: Its ok. I have ur name & number already...

conclusion:

They didnt let us know that we had to pick up our result at IMEC. It was announced during the exams that result shud be picked up at british council on said date. Nothing from IMEC about result.

Imec is very lousy. Service is crappy. I learned my lesson. For those who is planning to sit for IELTS, please just go register yourselves at the British COuncil. No headache, no heartache...

Jee IMEC... u you could have been more responsible...

Alaaa....

So IELTS results are out today...

I checked mine online. Hmmmmph...boy, was i disappointed. Allah je la tahu.. I was so shocked to see a somewhat major decline in my result as compared to 2 years ago. Sakitnya..adoi...

My writing result sucked pretty bad..and that is the most important result to get enroll in a phd program. Cukup2 makan2/cud be 0.5 point less that minimum requirement. Different faculty and courses require different scores. Kecewa tak terkata.. U know y? Because I felt good writing my essay as compared to how clumsy I felt 2 years ago. This time I felt that it was a good essay. Good structure, good point, good flow.. This time the essay was about whether I believe crime rates could be reduced.. as compared to the previous topic of something regarding kelapa sawit di malaysia. You know what I'm talking bout rite? I mean, sometimes we just feel in our gut that we did pretty well...I felt like that, that day. Bukan overconfident that I would score but I felt good...

And behold! My lowest score was my essay... Although cukup2 makan...I dont know whether it wud be enough for all purposes..eg. visa, scholarship, course requirement..different aspects, different requirements..adoi2...sakit2.. rasa mcm nak mintak org tu check lagi sekali je.. we can pay.. Allah..malunya...

2 years ago result gempak! now, not so...blaaaah aje....

dug dap dug dap dug dap...

Ya Allah, I pray that my result is sufficient to pull me through... Kalau tak I have to sit for the IELTS again... another rm550...sedihnya..

tak terkata...

But, cheer up R! Allah knows best... Ada hikmah di sebalik setiap perkara... Yakin & tawakal!

Hmmm....

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DONT PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH?

Susah oooo jaga anak yg dh besar dan bijak untuk berkata2 ni...I tend to do the no-no's rather than the stuff I tell and advice most mothers to do...alamak...

It really makes me sit & wonder how the mothers I see feel...now I understand their position and how hard it is to change anything related to kids behavior...

Hmmmm.... Its hard but not impossible...

Try harder reen... U still have another week with the kids...

An interesting day..

19th December 2009

Ahh...today I sat for my IELTS. Nervous? Yes! Met new friends? Yes! Any interesting boyz? No! Sigh... why oh why...

Bout the exam.. I tawakal pada Allah... I have studied.. I have practiced.. So I leave it up to HIM to decide...

But what I want to write down is here...is what happened after the first part of the exam.. After finishing the listening, reading and writing sections of IELTS.. I had a 3 hours break before my Speaking test... So..since I was all alone in the city.. I braved myself to wander the streets of KL. Muhahahaha...gelak evil because.. well panjang akal nak ke KLCC.. which I did..and I went to Kinokuniya to buy books...

While I was enjoying my new book while eating spagetti carbonara at the Kino cafe.. heee... seronotnya... enjoying my time and chillaxing before another bout of anxiety... suddenly I remembered I left my purple shawl in the examination hall...Alamak!! Its my fave shawl... and I love it.. so I gobbled up my food.. and walked as fast as I can back to Corus Hotel... Looking up at the sky... OMG it was dark... and I didnt have an umbrella.. Look at my watch, I still had time to kill before it was my time in the Speaking room... So I walked as quickly as my fat legs can carry me and managed to reach the hotel before it started raining...it was just drizzling by the time I reached the lobby of the hotel...

After hunting for my shawl, I was crestfallen when the guy there didnt have any inkling where my shawl was or how a shawl looked like... broken hearted... pegila balik ke lobby hotel...and suddenly it was a downpour!!! Hujan lebat di KL tahu jelah macam mana kan...

So I lingered around at the hotel's lobby and watched anxiously as time ticked by. My anxiety came back since I had only less than 2 hours before my time was up. Huhuhu... When the rain was drizzling.. I sprinted myself across the street and started to walk..elok2 jalan je.. it became a downpour again! Huish... I was drenched! Like a rat! Pakai skirt...tudung lilit... I was wet but I felt like laughing! haha...adoi...with all the buses and taxis that passed me by...all honking and waving telling me to board them..segan oo...standing alone on the side of the street, directly across KLCC...usually in the movies, a handsome man would come baring an umbrella, or that would be the moment when someone just so happens to cross ur life..ngaa..movies je kan..reality nada...

So finally, asked I was doing my fifth pit stop to watch the heavy rain, one old guy in his 60s took pity on me, and gave me an umbrella. Bless his soul...baiknya hati..when other people just turned their heads or said "Sorry maam, we cant spare u an umbrella coz ur not a guest in our hotel".... this guy without any explanation just gave me an umbrella...trharu x terkata... too bad it wasnt a young man....hehe

So in the end, I safely arrived at wisma dredging..went up to the examination room. Coz I still had time to kill, I hunted down for a bathroom and just my luck, they had a hand drier.. So like any girl with a common sense wud do, I squeezed all the water out from my skirt, and hold it up under the drier.. After nearly half an hour...i was 80% dried off.. and at least look presentable for the test.. the only problem was my sandals were super duper soaked... but it went smoothly after that...

Now, lets just pray that I dont fall down with the flu. Coz I have my two babies here with me...and I need to have all my energy to engage them and make them happy!

:) what more can I do?

Another black monday...

URGGGHHH!!!!

Monday started off pretty bad... I had nightmares throughout the whole night... I woke up at 4.30, slept back again at 5 am and still the same nightmares were there.. like a never ending soap!!! The thing about having nightmares that you remember, is that your brain feels really tired when u wake up! and you dont feel rested!... So, that's how my monday morning started off...

I believe that my nightmares were triggered off by the fact that I have to do a DST assessment today and found out that Alvin gave me incomplete Malay templates. I cant do 3 out of 12 tests! I've tried to SMS everybody else..Some of the girls replied back, some didnt bother... Jee, thanx evey1 for the help!

So, now I am at the cabin. I see my patient who came all they way from shah alam has arrived. Waiting anxiously for me to do the DST assessment. Now wat am I suppose to tell the parents? "oo..Maaf puan, saya x dapat bagi keputusan assessment ni sbb template Melayu saya x lengkap??" Now who's fault is that?? Obviously there is no one to blame but me... but please la dear boss, you order all the latest and high-tech asssessment but none of them are translated and suitable for Malay population!!!!!! AARGGHHHHH! Tension giler! Like suddenly I have to come back and do every damn translation for them??!!!

To top it off, last weekend my good friend from school days got married. So happy for her. The stupid and lack of intelligence on my part is the sharing of the present. So being the ever wise one.. i suggested that we (at that time being only 4 girls) share to buy her a big and comfortable plus beautiful comforter... cost around rm230. So each and every1 of us pay around rm50.

Then the boys called me up and asked where I was, like they so needed me to cover their embarrassing assess. I told them that I was buying our friend's wedding present. The head boy said " I wanna pitch in!". I said u better pay! Point is, not an issue with me if you pay but big time issue if u just hitch along for ride without paying! So what happened? As we were all seated at the table, some of the guys wanted to sign the wedding card. I strictly told them that only those who paid can sign the card. Some of them said, okla we will pay. But can pay through online transfer tak? I baik hati kan...Said okla... So guess how many actually paid for the present? Four of them (2boys and 2 girls havent paid yet!) and I loath to ask them or demand them to pay up! All of them have this notion that A) I'm a over-the-top wealthy kid who has loaaaaads of money stashed in my account, 2) that I dont need the money so I can just cover up their damn assess, and last but not least 3) I dont care about spending.

UUGHHHH!!!!! What people think bout me and my money! Hello income I kecik je ok! Basic salary for a P1T3 is only rm24+++. Mana ada like you guys yang earn like rm3K+++ tu... Keje petronas, dengan I pun nak berkira! Everything is "Reen blanja ni..Reenla blanja tu".. what do you think I am? Your personal bank account?!

I AM NOT THAT DESPERATE TO HAVE FRIENDS YOU FIEND!

So I'm just sick and tired of everyone's attitude when it relates to me...

And another thing...IELTS is just around the corner...Have I prepared myself? No...Do I have time to study with all the seminars, and workshops as well as publications that I have to produce? No...Do I like being pushed by other people to do things that I dont like? No...

NO NO NO...

Its a frustrating morning!

And all you Malaysians drivers out there...Kalau xda etika memandu sila get the hell off the road!

Sekian.

Sad Sad Days

Monday:30th November 2009

My baby cat just died. I tried to revive her but her time had come. I buried her myself. No tears coz I wasnt that attach yet.


Tuesday: 1st December 2009

My cat, Montel ran away. She was on heat and was quite flustered about it. Kept rolling in her cage and purring to attract attention. Early this morning, mom told me to tie her up outside, to let her loose. I did, although my instinct warned me not to. She's no longer a stray cat. Hence, her survival skills are not developed enough. After 15 minutes outside of the house (I tied her to our door grill), two male cats had a fight which I believed scared her away. She broke free and ran for safety. She ran away with a collar and long strings attach to it.

The other male cats came back..but I cant find montel anywhere.. Yesterday, I didnt feel like crying...today, the moment I realized that she wont come back, it just brought me to tears..

I can't stop blaming myself for this. I knew better than to let her go. I knew better! All kind of thoughts are racing to my head. What if she gets tangled up in the bushes? What if the dogs get her? Poor Montel...

I spent a lot on her.. from surgery to diarrhea to xrays to birthing.. food, house, sand....

Kalau ada rezeki, adalah... Nanti montel balik la rumah... but deep down I know she's not gonna come back...

Mayb I'm just not fit to have a cat.. Since Mom so hates cat.. better not traumatize her more...

Coz I just cant deal with the criticism and negativity anymore...

I just hate yesterday and today....

I hurt because a parent doesnt understand....

I hurt because I lost the most precious pet to me...