So, after leaving the states, I never saw him again. But our parents worked in the same university. I would now and then hear stories bout him and his brothers. But no face to face contact for nearly 20 years. That was until Raya last year, we finally met at an old friends' house. He came with his parents. He still seemed shy..but he turned out to be quite a man! hehe...usha jgn x usha... He had this Arabian look going on.. macho to my eyes and to my old time childhood girlfriend..
Our dad's started talking bout how he doesnt have a gf yet, and how I dont have a bf yet... and how he needed to find a wife.. my dad was just laughing it off... but he got the feeling that his dad had a hidden meaning... our mothers were talking bout the old days, how we were so small way back then... but the fact was, I wanted to look at and talk to the handsome guy outside... but he seemed extremely shy and not interested in little me...
Even when we were faced to face, he was counting the ants on the ground.... and i felt a bit sad that he didnt even look at me... was i that unattractive? Surprise2 my dad, in the car suddenly said, y wasnt he looking at you? wasnt he interested? hahaha...that really made me laugh...i went home, looked him up on FB but didnt have the courage to add him as a friend.. coz he seemed so not into me...I didnt want to embarrass myself by adding him and acting all friendly with a guy who was more interested in the structure of the ground rather than me...
So, back to the present...a month has past after his wedding reception. My dad bumped into him and his new wife at the shopping complex last week.. he, surprised my dad by asking bout me and saying that he saw me at his reception but wasnt able to sit and talk with me.... honestly I was standing when he was walking his bride down the aisle.. and we clashed eyes.. I smiled and immediately looked away... assuming that he didnt recognize me at all... boy was I wrong...
So, because he suddenly remembered my existence, I added him as a friend on FB. And I relearned the lesson of fate:
soal jodoh pertemuan di tangan tuhan.. tak kira ape yg tersirat di dalam hati kita...
He sent me a message saying that he was happy to talk to me after all this while... that last year during the raya gathering he was honestly looking for me, trying to catch a glimpse of me.. he was hoping that we cud have gotten to know each other more.. and perhaps something further...funny thing was, I was there... right in front of his eyes...looking at him, smiling at him, his dad talked to me.. his mom hugged me...yet he cudnt see me at all... funny funny funny... Allah tutup mata dia, pintu hati dia...
and now he's asking to meet up and catch up... and saying stuff that i dont really think is appropriate for a married man.. huhu... i dont agree with all the friendliness after marriage... and funny again, how suddenly i've been contacted by married guys asking to be friends again... dugaan apakah ini? So, I politely dismiss further flirtatious messages thru FB and cheekily asked him to bring along a single and hot guy for me if and when we meet up.. hehe... but tipu la if I didnt have the what-ifs going on... the past can not be rewritten... everything happens for a reason.. so dear heart, please stop ur irrational hurting.. this shudnt coz u pain!
or is the pain caused by a close online friend who is hinting for more...
dont u know?
the only reason that I have not fully accepted a guy is because of my parents? They are the world to me.. and it is mighty important for my guy to be accepted by them and to accept them.. to be able to live with them under the same roof... now, would any guy in their right mind agree to that? I dont waste time anymore with playing the field... if any guy can actually love my parents, care for them... then I would gladly give you my whole heart...
Ya Allah... kepadaMu aku berserah....
the point of my entry today is: fate... it's really something... Allah knows best..
